It is an interesting experience to read the last few chapters of Matthew followed by Psalm 22. How could David write these things so many years prior to them happening to Christ?
I wonder if it was because David was so close to God… He sought after God, worshipped God, struggled with God, repented and came back to God for healing over and over. God gave him the song that became what we know as Psalm 22. It was a glimpse of what was to come.
And Jesus obviously knew the Scriptures and knew this Psalm. So much of it became his experience… “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?... He trusts the Lord; let the Lord rescue him… they have pierced my hands and my feet… they divide my garments among them and cast lots for my clothing… the poor will eat and be satisfied; they who seek the Lord will praise him… all the ends of the earth will remember and turn to the Lord, and all the families of the nations will bow down before him, for dominion belongs to the Lord and he rules over the nations… they will proclaim his righteousness to the people yet unborn – for he has done it.” Psalm 22:1, 8, 16, 18, 26-28, 31
Jesus’ death on the cross was no accident of fate. It was a carefully planned out event on God’s kingdom calendar. It was the ultimate Passover and he was the Passover lamb. It was his victory over death – part of his eternal plan rescuing us from sin and death. “He is not the God of the dead, but of the living.” Matthew 22:32 When he rose from the dead, he took away Satan’s power of fear of death. Because I know I will live in eternity, I don’t have to fear what happens to this mortal body. It is simply a vehicle to get around in this world and can be used to praise God while I’m here as I will praise God in heaven.
I have a really hard time saying the words, “My son is dead.” I think it is because I don’t believe it. I’m not in denial that his physical body as I have known it will not walk through my door with his big smile or wrap me in his big hug. But death has been conquered. I can now see it for what it really is – a passage from life on the timeline of this world to life in eternity. God is the God of the living – whether they are living in this world in the mortal body or whether they are living in eternity with him. Jesus showed us with his resurrection that life continues. In fact, life in eternity is more life than life in this world can ever be!
So I’m waiting – with hope and full of his promises – until I cross over into eternity where real life begins. In the meantime, I’m living in my mortal body as a disciple of Jesus Christ and trying to keep learning what it means to be God’s servant, to honor him with my life on this side of eternity, and to be part of his body here on this earth by reaching out to others and loving them. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16
Jesus asked those who follow him to get this message out to the world. This is our job description: “Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20
What is it we are commanded to do? While we have many more teachings of Jesus, he summed it up with, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40 Spurred on by our son’s great faith, I will continue to grapple with what this looks like in daily life and interactions with others – as long as God gives me breath on this earth.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
I'm Walking on Water
When someone we love dearly leaves this earth, we grieve deeply. When Jesus received the news that John the Baptist had been killed by Herod, “he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place.” Matthew 14:13 But the only ‘private’ and ‘solitary’ he got was while he was in the boat because, “When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.” Matthew 14:14
After feeding the 5,000 men plus women and children with only five loaves of bread and two fish, Jesus sent his disciples ahead of him in the boat, dismissed the crowds, and then “he went up on the mountainside by himself to pray.” Matthew 14:23 Not only was his time for grieving taken from him, but he put in a long, hard day before he was able to finally get by himself and deal with his grief through prayer – alone time with just Jesus and his Father.
It was after this ‘alone time’ that Jesus, in the early hours of the morning, walked out to his disciples on the water which would have been anything but calm. Matthew tells us that the boat was “buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.” Matthew 14:24 And it was at this time that Peter, wild with the possibilities of what Jesus could do, climbed out of the boat and began his walk toward Jesus – on the water! We give Peter a hard time about his lack of faith when he took in his circumstances (wind and waves) and began to sink. But I wonder if I would have had the courage and the faith to climb out of the boat!
When they got to the other side, people spotted him and once again Jesus was surrounded with people who wanted to be healed from their sickness. Couldn’t he have a break? After all, now that we know more about grieving, we understand that it takes several years and many cycles of anger and acceptance. Wouldn’t a loving Father protect him and give him a year or two to heal before returning to his ministry?
And I wonder how Jesus must have felt – giving and giving. People came after physical healing and he had so much more to give them. He obviously was drawing on a power and strength from his heavenly Father. That is why he had to spend a good portion of the night in prayer. He had to keep his focus on the things of God – not the things of man. A heavenly perspective on things could keep him from going into a great depression. A heavenly perspective on things gave him the compassion to continue healing the sick even as he was dealing with his own loss.
I wonder how many of those who where healed stuck around for the ‘more’ that Jesus had to give them? We focus so much on our physical world – understandingly so – it is the world we live in. But Jesus has so much more to offer us if we will just open our eyes to the possibilities and get out of the boat!
Seven weeks after our son has left this world, we are still being asked, “Have you gone back to work yet?” The answer is yes, we went back to work as soon as we returned from dealing with his earthly belongings (closing out his apartment, canceling utilities, etc.) and dealing with the legal issues that come with leaving this world. God, in his compassion, gave us several days to deal with the initial shock and grief. But then we could soon see that there was work to be done. There were many hurting people around us who needed assurances. Some needed to find their salvation in Christ. Some needed to return to Christ after wondering away. Some needed to hear Christ’s call to ‘step out of the boat.’
And we needed to find our ‘solitary places’, get recharged, and keep going. Jesus showed us how to do that and being his disciples, we choose to learn from him. There are a lot of good books out there about grieving. Many of them hold some good wisdom. But the book I have the most confidence in is the Word of God. That is where I find the healing and the strength I need to go on. Every day that God gives me is another day to ‘bear fruit’ for him. It is another day to walk in his strength and share his love and goodness with those I come in contact with.
And who knows… If I climb out of the boat and keep my eyes on Jesus, well, maybe I’ll have enough faith to walk on water too.
After feeding the 5,000 men plus women and children with only five loaves of bread and two fish, Jesus sent his disciples ahead of him in the boat, dismissed the crowds, and then “he went up on the mountainside by himself to pray.” Matthew 14:23 Not only was his time for grieving taken from him, but he put in a long, hard day before he was able to finally get by himself and deal with his grief through prayer – alone time with just Jesus and his Father.
It was after this ‘alone time’ that Jesus, in the early hours of the morning, walked out to his disciples on the water which would have been anything but calm. Matthew tells us that the boat was “buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.” Matthew 14:24 And it was at this time that Peter, wild with the possibilities of what Jesus could do, climbed out of the boat and began his walk toward Jesus – on the water! We give Peter a hard time about his lack of faith when he took in his circumstances (wind and waves) and began to sink. But I wonder if I would have had the courage and the faith to climb out of the boat!
When they got to the other side, people spotted him and once again Jesus was surrounded with people who wanted to be healed from their sickness. Couldn’t he have a break? After all, now that we know more about grieving, we understand that it takes several years and many cycles of anger and acceptance. Wouldn’t a loving Father protect him and give him a year or two to heal before returning to his ministry?
And I wonder how Jesus must have felt – giving and giving. People came after physical healing and he had so much more to give them. He obviously was drawing on a power and strength from his heavenly Father. That is why he had to spend a good portion of the night in prayer. He had to keep his focus on the things of God – not the things of man. A heavenly perspective on things could keep him from going into a great depression. A heavenly perspective on things gave him the compassion to continue healing the sick even as he was dealing with his own loss.
I wonder how many of those who where healed stuck around for the ‘more’ that Jesus had to give them? We focus so much on our physical world – understandingly so – it is the world we live in. But Jesus has so much more to offer us if we will just open our eyes to the possibilities and get out of the boat!
Seven weeks after our son has left this world, we are still being asked, “Have you gone back to work yet?” The answer is yes, we went back to work as soon as we returned from dealing with his earthly belongings (closing out his apartment, canceling utilities, etc.) and dealing with the legal issues that come with leaving this world. God, in his compassion, gave us several days to deal with the initial shock and grief. But then we could soon see that there was work to be done. There were many hurting people around us who needed assurances. Some needed to find their salvation in Christ. Some needed to return to Christ after wondering away. Some needed to hear Christ’s call to ‘step out of the boat.’
And we needed to find our ‘solitary places’, get recharged, and keep going. Jesus showed us how to do that and being his disciples, we choose to learn from him. There are a lot of good books out there about grieving. Many of them hold some good wisdom. But the book I have the most confidence in is the Word of God. That is where I find the healing and the strength I need to go on. Every day that God gives me is another day to ‘bear fruit’ for him. It is another day to walk in his strength and share his love and goodness with those I come in contact with.
And who knows… If I climb out of the boat and keep my eyes on Jesus, well, maybe I’ll have enough faith to walk on water too.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Leviticus, Jesus, and Teflon
Since the Pharisees were pretty sure they had an edge on the truth – they knew the law like no others – they decided to show the Sadducees up with their own question for Jesus. They put their best expert in the law forth to question Jesus – to prove once and for all he was a fraud and didn’t know the law. “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Matthew 22:36
I’m not sure what answer they were expecting or even what they thought the right answer was. But when Jesus was done answering them, they were left speechless and feared asking any more questions. Jesus answered them by quoting from Leviticus 19 (one of the books that keeps many of us from reading through the Bible in a year!). Over and over in Leviticus 19, the Lord says, “I am the Lord your God.” He says “Be Holy because I, the Lord your God am holy.” Leviticus 19:2 He goes through the Ten Commandments (found in Exodus 20) with addendums, constantly reminding them, “I am the Lord your God.” Then he says, “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.” Leviticus 19:18
When Jesus replies to the Pharisees, he says, “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40
I like to compare Leviticus to the rules of using Teflon coated cookware. Rule after rule… don’t stack… don’t use knives or sharp objects… don’t use metal spoons… don’t overheat… and we could go on until we had at least 100 rules about the use of Teflon. Or, we could say, Teflon can be damaged by scratching the surface. Therefore, do not do anything with a Teflon coated pan that would cause it to be scratched. The difference is that we can either memorize 100 rules to preserve the Teflon (oops – forgot that one – now the Teflon is damaged) or we can think about how we are using the Teflon and constantly ask ourselves the question: Will what I am about to do damage the Teflon?
When I look at Leviticus that way, I can see that Jesus summed it up very well. Every law in Leviticus can go back to love God and love your fellow travelers in this world. Our human nature wants to make ourselves our own god and we want to lord it over those around us – to be in control. But God didn’t create us to be our own gods or to control others. He created us to walk with him and to worship him. He created us to bring glory to him.
As I journey through this world, I wonder if asking myself the question, “Is what I am about to do going to bring glory to God?” would help me come up with better responses in the many choices I make each day. Would it help me live a life that is holy – free from idolatry and full of worshiping God? I wonder if asking the question, “Is what I am about to do going to help or harm others on this life journey?” would help me to make better decisions regarding what I buy, how I spend my time, where I go, etc. Would it help me to think about justice, peace, service, caring for the poor, etc.?
I wonder if maybe the entire Word of God can be boiled down to these two commandments: Love God and Love each other. The rest is examples and explanations. I make it way more difficult than it is because I forget that I am the created… not the Creator. I am made in the image of God – and his character is holy, loving, full of mercy and grace, patient, forgiving…
Lord, help me to keep my focus simple so others will see your love and mercy through how I interact with you, with them and with the world.
I’m not sure what answer they were expecting or even what they thought the right answer was. But when Jesus was done answering them, they were left speechless and feared asking any more questions. Jesus answered them by quoting from Leviticus 19 (one of the books that keeps many of us from reading through the Bible in a year!). Over and over in Leviticus 19, the Lord says, “I am the Lord your God.” He says “Be Holy because I, the Lord your God am holy.” Leviticus 19:2 He goes through the Ten Commandments (found in Exodus 20) with addendums, constantly reminding them, “I am the Lord your God.” Then he says, “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.” Leviticus 19:18
When Jesus replies to the Pharisees, he says, “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40
I like to compare Leviticus to the rules of using Teflon coated cookware. Rule after rule… don’t stack… don’t use knives or sharp objects… don’t use metal spoons… don’t overheat… and we could go on until we had at least 100 rules about the use of Teflon. Or, we could say, Teflon can be damaged by scratching the surface. Therefore, do not do anything with a Teflon coated pan that would cause it to be scratched. The difference is that we can either memorize 100 rules to preserve the Teflon (oops – forgot that one – now the Teflon is damaged) or we can think about how we are using the Teflon and constantly ask ourselves the question: Will what I am about to do damage the Teflon?
When I look at Leviticus that way, I can see that Jesus summed it up very well. Every law in Leviticus can go back to love God and love your fellow travelers in this world. Our human nature wants to make ourselves our own god and we want to lord it over those around us – to be in control. But God didn’t create us to be our own gods or to control others. He created us to walk with him and to worship him. He created us to bring glory to him.
As I journey through this world, I wonder if asking myself the question, “Is what I am about to do going to bring glory to God?” would help me come up with better responses in the many choices I make each day. Would it help me live a life that is holy – free from idolatry and full of worshiping God? I wonder if asking the question, “Is what I am about to do going to help or harm others on this life journey?” would help me to make better decisions regarding what I buy, how I spend my time, where I go, etc. Would it help me to think about justice, peace, service, caring for the poor, etc.?
I wonder if maybe the entire Word of God can be boiled down to these two commandments: Love God and Love each other. The rest is examples and explanations. I make it way more difficult than it is because I forget that I am the created… not the Creator. I am made in the image of God – and his character is holy, loving, full of mercy and grace, patient, forgiving…
Lord, help me to keep my focus simple so others will see your love and mercy through how I interact with you, with them and with the world.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Good Grief!
So many think that because we are not breaking up and succumbing to tears regularly that we are not grieving well. They are sure we are going to crash any day. To anyone who feels this way, let me assure you that there have been, there are, and there will continue to be tears. We miss our son Andrew very much and we grieve the future events we had planned… we grieve not having the wedding, we grieve not spending time together on vacation, his birthday, Christmas… we grieve not helping Andrew and Melanie move further north when she was done with her master’s program… we grieve that she has withdrawn from her master’s program to deal with her own grief… we grieve not having grandchildren a few years down the road… As we unpack and sort and determine the distribution of his belongings we grieve that he is not here to use his belongings.
Since much of that grief takes place in the privacy of our home and not in public, we do not show many tears to you, our friends. But be assured, we grieve and will continue to do so. Andrew left a huge hole in our lives – one that cannot be filled with anything but God’s continued love, mercy and grace.
BUT… we don’t grieve as the world grieves because we are not without hope. (I Thessalonians 4:12-14) “In this world you will have troubles, but take heart, I have overcome the world!” John 16:33 “O Death, where is your victory? O Grave, where is your sting?” I Corinthians 15:55 What you are seeing in us is not lack of grief, but God’s continued work in our lives.
We accept that we are in a time of trial – a refining fire. “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Romans 5:1-4
Indeed, we have hope – our son is with Jesus and we will be joining him when our time on this earth is completed. Until then, we have work to do. We are not dead but very much alive. God still loves us and continues to give us strength daily to do his good works. “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1 “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10
We are testing these Scriptures and proving them true – over and over. God’s grace is sufficient. His presence is with us daily. We have our hope in him and plan to spend eternity with him. And God has much for us to do… there are many who do not know him and are unaware of the great love that he has for them. So we are empowered by God to move forward – to be his servants and continue to call to Christ and to disciple those whom he places in our lives.
God is good – all the time. His character has not changed because our circumstances have changed. He is still the most awesome and powerful and holy God. It is our privilege to serve him with every breath that we have. Our hope is that it is God’s power in our lives, his mercy and his grace that you are seeing.
Yes, we are grieving – a good grief – one that is filled with hope, not despair.
Since much of that grief takes place in the privacy of our home and not in public, we do not show many tears to you, our friends. But be assured, we grieve and will continue to do so. Andrew left a huge hole in our lives – one that cannot be filled with anything but God’s continued love, mercy and grace.
BUT… we don’t grieve as the world grieves because we are not without hope. (I Thessalonians 4:12-14) “In this world you will have troubles, but take heart, I have overcome the world!” John 16:33 “O Death, where is your victory? O Grave, where is your sting?” I Corinthians 15:55 What you are seeing in us is not lack of grief, but God’s continued work in our lives.
We accept that we are in a time of trial – a refining fire. “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Romans 5:1-4
Indeed, we have hope – our son is with Jesus and we will be joining him when our time on this earth is completed. Until then, we have work to do. We are not dead but very much alive. God still loves us and continues to give us strength daily to do his good works. “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1 “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10
We are testing these Scriptures and proving them true – over and over. God’s grace is sufficient. His presence is with us daily. We have our hope in him and plan to spend eternity with him. And God has much for us to do… there are many who do not know him and are unaware of the great love that he has for them. So we are empowered by God to move forward – to be his servants and continue to call to Christ and to disciple those whom he places in our lives.
God is good – all the time. His character has not changed because our circumstances have changed. He is still the most awesome and powerful and holy God. It is our privilege to serve him with every breath that we have. Our hope is that it is God’s power in our lives, his mercy and his grace that you are seeing.
Yes, we are grieving – a good grief – one that is filled with hope, not despair.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
The Lord Speaks
As we feel the pain of losing our son, we sometimes look at one another and say, “We don’t have it as bad as Job did. He lost everything – all his sons and daughters and all his wealth and even his health.” Does God ever tell Job why this happened? What is it that the Lord is saying to Job when he finally speaks? “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand.” Job 38:4 The Lord goes on describing creation, from the universe to the living creatures and plants he placed on the earth. Then he goes on to say to Job, “Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him?” Job 40:2
Job suffered much. And while we have the ‘prologue’ that tells us about the conversation between Satan and God, there is still never an answer as to why God allowed this to happen. And I wonder – do we really believe that God just allowed himself to be goaded by Satan to put Job through all this suffering? What good could possibly come from this? Is that how God takes care of those who follow his commands and worship him?
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 “I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” Psalm 27:13 “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion – to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called the oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.” Isaiah 61:1-3
How many people have gone to the book of Job looking for answers when they are in pain? If Job had never suffered, there would be no book of Job. Could it be that God was taking Satan’s ‘bright idea’ and using it to his glory?
What about the cross that Jesus suffered and died on? Did God turn his face away from the world he created and from his one and only Son? This very horrible tragedy (an innocent, righteous and perfect man was killed in a horribly painful way) was used to God’s glory and purpose in giving to us a plan for salvation – a way to reconcile and restore the human race to their Creator. If God can use an atrocity like that to his glory, could he not use Job’s suffering to his honor and glory? Can he not use my suffering to his honor and glory?
What then? Do I deny my pain and suffering? I think not… But I take my pain and suffering, my mourning and my grieving to the One who “binds up the brokenhearted… and comforts all who mourn,” and I look for the “crown of beauty” and the “oil of gladness” and I put on the “garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” Isaiah 61 Jesus said, “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.” Luke 4:21 I go to the One who knows pain and suffering, the One who chose to not call on the angels and avoid the cross, the One who provides me with “living water” and restores peace to my soul.
I’ve learned from Job that I don’t need to have an answer to the “why” but rather I will continue to worship and praise the God who created and has ownership and power over his Creation. He is the one with true wisdom and he is the one who will use everything – even my pain and suffering – to his glory and honor. Because of Jesus, I can look forward to spending eternity with him and with our son who was taken home to eternity sooner than we expected.
Our plans have been changed and there is a big hole in our lives… but I wait expectantly to see what God is doing and will continue to do. Already we see people turning their faces toward God, accepting the grace offered them, and looking forward to joining Andrew in heaven. “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” John 12:24 I truly believe heaven is rejoicing and Andrew is dancing with joy as he watches more and more souls finding their peace with God.
Apparently God has a few more things for me to do on this earth before I can join them in heaven. So my goal is to use every breath he gives me, every day to praise our God in heaven and share his Good News with others – to be a living testimony to the “goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” That’s my promise to God. And God’s promise to me is, “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8 and “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isaiah 43:2
Jesus was walking toward the boat containing his disciples – on water. “’Lord, if it’s you,’ Peter replied, ‘tell me to come to you on the water.’ ‘Come,’ he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.” Matthew 14:28-31a I feel a bit like Peter – I’ve left the safety of my boat. But my confidence is in Christ. If I keep my eyes on him and not my circumstances (the water I am walking on and the wind that is blowing me), I will be able to continue this journey safely. And if I look away for a moment and begin to sink as I think about my circumstances, I trust Jesus will reach out his hand and catch me.
We serve an awesome God. He is the Creator of the universe and all that is in it – including our son and including me – and he has sovereign power over all of it and can use it to his purposes. I am filled with wonder and amazed and humbled by his grace. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
Job suffered much. And while we have the ‘prologue’ that tells us about the conversation between Satan and God, there is still never an answer as to why God allowed this to happen. And I wonder – do we really believe that God just allowed himself to be goaded by Satan to put Job through all this suffering? What good could possibly come from this? Is that how God takes care of those who follow his commands and worship him?
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 “I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” Psalm 27:13 “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion – to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called the oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.” Isaiah 61:1-3
How many people have gone to the book of Job looking for answers when they are in pain? If Job had never suffered, there would be no book of Job. Could it be that God was taking Satan’s ‘bright idea’ and using it to his glory?
What about the cross that Jesus suffered and died on? Did God turn his face away from the world he created and from his one and only Son? This very horrible tragedy (an innocent, righteous and perfect man was killed in a horribly painful way) was used to God’s glory and purpose in giving to us a plan for salvation – a way to reconcile and restore the human race to their Creator. If God can use an atrocity like that to his glory, could he not use Job’s suffering to his honor and glory? Can he not use my suffering to his honor and glory?
What then? Do I deny my pain and suffering? I think not… But I take my pain and suffering, my mourning and my grieving to the One who “binds up the brokenhearted… and comforts all who mourn,” and I look for the “crown of beauty” and the “oil of gladness” and I put on the “garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” Isaiah 61 Jesus said, “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.” Luke 4:21 I go to the One who knows pain and suffering, the One who chose to not call on the angels and avoid the cross, the One who provides me with “living water” and restores peace to my soul.
I’ve learned from Job that I don’t need to have an answer to the “why” but rather I will continue to worship and praise the God who created and has ownership and power over his Creation. He is the one with true wisdom and he is the one who will use everything – even my pain and suffering – to his glory and honor. Because of Jesus, I can look forward to spending eternity with him and with our son who was taken home to eternity sooner than we expected.
Our plans have been changed and there is a big hole in our lives… but I wait expectantly to see what God is doing and will continue to do. Already we see people turning their faces toward God, accepting the grace offered them, and looking forward to joining Andrew in heaven. “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” John 12:24 I truly believe heaven is rejoicing and Andrew is dancing with joy as he watches more and more souls finding their peace with God.
Apparently God has a few more things for me to do on this earth before I can join them in heaven. So my goal is to use every breath he gives me, every day to praise our God in heaven and share his Good News with others – to be a living testimony to the “goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” That’s my promise to God. And God’s promise to me is, “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8 and “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isaiah 43:2
Jesus was walking toward the boat containing his disciples – on water. “’Lord, if it’s you,’ Peter replied, ‘tell me to come to you on the water.’ ‘Come,’ he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.” Matthew 14:28-31a I feel a bit like Peter – I’ve left the safety of my boat. But my confidence is in Christ. If I keep my eyes on him and not my circumstances (the water I am walking on and the wind that is blowing me), I will be able to continue this journey safely. And if I look away for a moment and begin to sink as I think about my circumstances, I trust Jesus will reach out his hand and catch me.
We serve an awesome God. He is the Creator of the universe and all that is in it – including our son and including me – and he has sovereign power over all of it and can use it to his purposes. I am filled with wonder and amazed and humbled by his grace. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
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