Broken

I had a friend a number of years ago who shared their journal as their spouse was diagnosed and, in a few years, died of leukemia. As I watched, I became somewhat envious of the growth that happened. The journey going deeper with the Lord was very attractive. I prayed, “Lord, I want to grow that close to you too – but please don’t make me go through anything so hard!”

As it turns out, I have grown close to the Lord as well, through my own journey of “hard”. And now I watch as friends are going through that “hard” and I watch them being broken and desperate for the Lord to relieve their pain. I want to comfort them, but I know only the Good Shepherd can comfort them in this place.

Many of us go through life thinking, “I’ve got this.” We nod toward God and say, “Thanks, I won’t be needing your help today. But you can bless what I am doing.” And we study His Word and teach and live out His principles. But we never draw so close we can feel His breath and hear His voice in our daily activities.

The apostle Peter spent three years learning from Jesus. Yet, until he came to the end of himself and discovered he was not as strong and wise as he thought he was, he was only half in the game! And just maybe that is the game changer. Whatever means it takes, and there are as many means as there are people, we need to come to the end of ourselves – broken before the Lord – recognizing that we are not as strong and wise as we think we are and that He alone holds the keys to life and death. When we learn to humble ourselves before Him and walk with Him, He will direct our steps, He will show us what to do with the life He gives us, and He will bless us on the journey.

King David wrote a beautiful Psalm of submission. The New Living Translation says it this way:

 

The Lord is my Shepherd; I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; He leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to His name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for You are close beside me. Your rod and Your staff protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely Your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.

A sheep is totally dependent on the shepherd for provision, guidance and protection. In this Psalm, David begins by referring to the Lord as “He” but at the point of the dark valley, the Lord becomes “You”. It is in the dark valley that we realize we need the Lord and He is there, guiding us through, protecting us and assuring us, and providing all that we need. It is in the dark valley that we draw close enough to Him to feel His breath and hear His voice.

Does God bring the hard things to help us grow? I don’t think so. Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble.” (John 16:33) But when we stay close to the Good Shepherd, we don’t have to be anxious about the hard things that might come. We can trust Him to guide us through and know that He will comfort us and bind our wounds when the going gets tough. And we will be okay. And our friends going through the “dark valley” will be okay too, because they are learning to walk closer to the Good Shepherd - to feel His breath and hear His voice.