Boundaries and Belonging

As the Israelites approached the Promised Land, Moses gave them instructions for inhabiting the land. One of those instructions was, “But if you do not drive out the inhabitants of the land, those you allow to remain will become barbs in your eyes and thorns in your sides. They will give you trouble in the land where you live.” Numbers 33:35

And as we read their continued story, we see that indeed, those they did not drive out taught them to worship other gods and forget the commandments God had given them through Moses. Israel had many painful experiences as a result of turning their backs on God. But when they had enough, they would again cry out to God to save them, to heal them, and to be their God once again.

Today, we see some churches that have strong boundaries. They control tightly what their people do and where they go – even who comes to church on Sunday morning. They provide worship experiences for their people and they provide teaching for their children. They provide their own schools and do not allow their children to attend Bible School or summer camp programs of other churches or denominations. They want to be the only instruction their children receive. They have found the Promised Land and they circle around their families and children and keep them safe there.

There are other churches that have very little if any boundaries. There is no difference inside the church or outside the church except that at least some of the people inside the church have at some time said the ‘sinner’s prayer’ and became ‘saved’ or at least they have become ‘members’ of the church. If you asked those within such a church what they believed, many would have difficulty expressing any specific beliefs.

Boundaries define who we are. Boundaries give us a ‘safe zone’ in which to live. But as much as they keep us in, they can also keep others out. And frankly, they don’t seem to be real effective in keeping us ‘safe’ as over time, they seem to erode and break down. There is human will and desire to deal with and when there is something outside the boundary that we personally want, suddenly we are in favor of exceptions. Or worse yet, we act on our desires and pretend that we live within the boundaries at the same time creating what the world sees as hypocrisy.

Belonging, on the other hand, defines what we do – how we act. Within families we have characteristics that we share with each other. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” some say. Or a corporation or ministry that we belong to says, “There are other ways to do this, but this is the (insert corporate name) way to do it.” As we move to the New Testament, we find God’s people also move from boundaries to belonging. Jesus says, “But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:44-45 Jesus is calling us to act like the family we belong to – God’s family.

The Apostle Paul reminds us often that we have been bought with a price, the blood of Jesus. We belong to God. We are his adopted children. Jesus calls us ‘friends’ and ‘brothers’. If we are part of God’s family, then we need to act like his family. Here is what defines us as members of his family: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40

This sense of belonging to God’s family, knowing we are loved by our Heavenly Father, allows us to focus on relationships – loving God and loving each other – rather than focusing on obeying laws. It is not that boundaries necessarily disappear, but they are not needed so badly if we operate out of our ‘family nature’ rather than out of our sinful nature. If we make decisions based on our love for God and love for each other, they will fall within the boundaries God set for us. If we are uncertain about a decision, we can go to God’s Word and discover the ‘boundary’ he set regarding that decision. And he has placed his Holy Spirit within us to help us with the wisdom we need especially when things seem unclear.

I wonder what our churches would look like if we operated out of God’s love for us and others and our love for God and for each other rather than out of defined boundaries. Somehow, I think we would become a place of healing and nurture. We would not be so worried about who is in and who is out and if our siblings are staying in the boundaries, but rather we would be inviting, honest with ourselves and each other, and always pointing people to our awesome Father and his son, Jesus Christ. Our boundaries of who is in and who is out may become less clear as we invite others to give up their sinful natures and become more like a member of God’s family. At what point is the ‘prodigal’ part of the family? When is the ‘woman caught in adultery’ a family member? At what point do any of us belong to God’s family? Maybe that point has more to do with which way our face is turned. Because once we look in Jesus’ eyes and see the love he has for us, we are drawn to him and to his family. We may all be at different places, but if our face is turned toward God and our desire is to belong in his family, we will begin to take on the characteristics of his family, loving God with all our heart, soul, and mind and loving others as ourselves.