Following at a Distance

Peter – the Rock – the Rock upon which Christ intended to build His Church – the one who would never leave Christ’s side – committed, strong and focused. This is the Peter who “followed at a distance” (Matthew 26:58) and then denied that he knew Jesus not once, but three times! How could this be? How could one so close and committed find himself denying that he even knew Jesus?

It is easy to give Peter and the other disciples a hard time for not sticking close and defending their Lord. But then I wonder – would I have been able to stick close? Would I have totally abandoned Jesus or would I have had the courage and curiosity to follow at a distance? And then the wondering goes deeper… how do I respond even now?

Jesus taught His disciples day after day about the Kingdom of God – a spiritual kingdom – not an earthly one. But the Jewish nation was looking for an earthly king – like David – to rise up and free them from the Roman rule. The disciples heard Jesus day after day, but applied it to their understanding of an earthly kingdom. Imagine the confusion when they watched as He was arrested! Everything they thought they understood and believed just went up in smoke! And their human response was to try to save their own tails and disassociate from the One whom they had been following – every one of them including Peter, the Rock. But Peter followed at a distance.

First I wonder, how many of us as Christians follow Christ at a distance – not wanting to put ourselves on the line or get into the heat of the spiritual battles. When discussions begin in the workplace or neighborhood gathering, do we identify ourselves as followers of Christ? Or do we slip into the background and disappear? We feed on His words Sunday morning year after year, but do we understand what He is teaching us? Or do we try to fit what He is teaching us into our own ‘truth’ and perceptions of the world around us?

And if I were to be asked outright, “Do you follow Jesus?” how do I respond? Do I say, “Yes, and here is why…?” or do I fudge or even outright deny so I don’t have to put myself on the line and possibly be ‘crucified’ socially?

Like Peter, I have in my past found my weakest point, when I was willing to deny I knew Him to ‘save my skin’ or at the very least to avoid conflict. Maybe I didn’t say the words, “I never knew Him,” but my actions did. And I saw Jesus turning to look at me while the cock was crowing – I knew on the spot I had failed. It had become more important for me to be socially accepted by those around me than to identify with the One who came to save me and establish His Kingdom here on earth as well as in heaven.

At that point, I have the choice. I can go like Judas and fully self-destruct because I have failed. Or, like Peter, I can have that hard conversation with Jesus and decide to accept His forgiveness and get about the Kingdom work again. Jesus doesn’t avoid us or kick us out when we fail. He offers us His hand of fellowship and reinstates us if we are willing and continues to give us Kingdom work to do – “Feed my sheep.” Jesus is saying to Peter, “Don’t just say the words, DO THEM.” If you love me, “Feed my lambs,” “Take care of my sheep,” and “Feed my sheep.” (John 21:15-17)

We all have a choice every day… we can wallow in our self-destructive behaviors or we can accept God’s forgiveness and get about the work of “feeding His sheep.” We can learn to love others the way Christ loves them – being willing to die for them in order for them to experience His great love and forgiveness. My human side wants to hold onto my skin. But when I am willing to abandon the need to protect myself and willing to give myself freely to God’s Kingdom, I can experience the deep, forgiving, re-instating love of Jesus and get about caring for others.

Thank you, Jesus, that you don’t give up on me. I am awed that you continue to use me in your Kingdom even when I have failed over and over. Keep teaching me your love and give me a heart to love others as you do, to see them as sheep in need of being fed. Fill me with your Spirit of love, compassion, mercy and grace so that I can extend a hand of fellowship to others just as You have done for me. Thank You. Amen.