Following at a Distance

Peter – the Rock – the Rock upon which Christ intended to build His Church – the one who would never leave Christ’s side – committed, strong and focused. This is the Peter who “followed at a distance” (Matthew 26:58) and then denied that he knew Jesus not once, but three times! How could this be? How could one so close and committed find himself denying that he even knew Jesus?

It is easy to give Peter and the other disciples a hard time for not sticking close and defending their Lord. But then I wonder – would I have been able to stick close? Would I have totally abandoned Jesus or would I have had the courage and curiosity to follow at a distance? And then the wondering goes deeper… how do I respond even now?

Jesus taught His disciples day after day about the Kingdom of God – a spiritual kingdom – not an earthly one. But the Jewish nation was looking for an earthly king – like David – to rise up and free them from the Roman rule. The disciples heard Jesus day after day, but applied it to their understanding of an earthly kingdom. Imagine the confusion when they watched as He was arrested! Everything they thought they understood and believed just went up in smoke! And their human response was to try to save their own tails and disassociate from the One whom they had been following – every one of them including Peter, the Rock. But Peter followed at a distance.

First I wonder, how many of us as Christians follow Christ at a distance – not wanting to put ourselves on the line or get into the heat of the spiritual battles. When discussions begin in the workplace or neighborhood gathering, do we identify ourselves as followers of Christ? Or do we slip into the background and disappear? We feed on His words Sunday morning year after year, but do we understand what He is teaching us? Or do we try to fit what He is teaching us into our own ‘truth’ and perceptions of the world around us?

And if I were to be asked outright, “Do you follow Jesus?” how do I respond? Do I say, “Yes, and here is why…?” or do I fudge or even outright deny so I don’t have to put myself on the line and possibly be ‘crucified’ socially?

Like Peter, I have in my past found my weakest point, when I was willing to deny I knew Him to ‘save my skin’ or at the very least to avoid conflict. Maybe I didn’t say the words, “I never knew Him,” but my actions did. And I saw Jesus turning to look at me while the cock was crowing – I knew on the spot I had failed. It had become more important for me to be socially accepted by those around me than to identify with the One who came to save me and establish His Kingdom here on earth as well as in heaven.

At that point, I have the choice. I can go like Judas and fully self-destruct because I have failed. Or, like Peter, I can have that hard conversation with Jesus and decide to accept His forgiveness and get about the Kingdom work again. Jesus doesn’t avoid us or kick us out when we fail. He offers us His hand of fellowship and reinstates us if we are willing and continues to give us Kingdom work to do – “Feed my sheep.” Jesus is saying to Peter, “Don’t just say the words, DO THEM.” If you love me, “Feed my lambs,” “Take care of my sheep,” and “Feed my sheep.” (John 21:15-17)

We all have a choice every day… we can wallow in our self-destructive behaviors or we can accept God’s forgiveness and get about the work of “feeding His sheep.” We can learn to love others the way Christ loves them – being willing to die for them in order for them to experience His great love and forgiveness. My human side wants to hold onto my skin. But when I am willing to abandon the need to protect myself and willing to give myself freely to God’s Kingdom, I can experience the deep, forgiving, re-instating love of Jesus and get about caring for others.

Thank you, Jesus, that you don’t give up on me. I am awed that you continue to use me in your Kingdom even when I have failed over and over. Keep teaching me your love and give me a heart to love others as you do, to see them as sheep in need of being fed. Fill me with your Spirit of love, compassion, mercy and grace so that I can extend a hand of fellowship to others just as You have done for me. Thank You. Amen.

When Life Gets Tough, Go Fishing!

Lately, I have become aware how much the rhythms of my day depend on others around me staying in the rhythms of their day. When someone who is in my normal mix throughout the day is missing for some reason or they change it up a bit, there are ‘empty spaces’ created and I need to think how I want or need to fill those spaces. A friend whose spouse was killed in a tragic accident put it this way, “Two years after the accident, I finally woke up one morning and felt ‘normal’ again.”

John kind of ended his message with John 20:31, summarizing his purpose for writing the book. But then it seems he has a couple of more things he wants to tell us.

“Afterward Jesus appeared again to his disciples, by the Sea of Tiberias. It happened this way: Simon Peter, Thomas (called Didymus), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. ‘I’m going out to fish,’ Simon Peter told them, and they said, ‘We’ll go with you.’ So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.’” John 21:1-3 I imagine that the disciples were pretty much wondering around looking for a ‘new normal’ as they could no longer just find Jesus and follow him around every day. When we feel lost, the tendency is to go back to something that is more comfortable or ‘normal’ for us. It had been three years since these disciples had fished on a regular basis, but when their world came unglued, it was still the most comfortable place to go back to.

“Early morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus. He called out to them, ‘Friends, haven’t you any fish?’ ‘No,’ they answered. He said, ‘Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.’ When they did that, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish. John 21:4-6 Since the disciples were not aware that it was Jesus, I wonder why they chose to follow his suggestion to try the other side. Why didn’t they just give up and say, “No fish today”? Jesus seemed to understand their need to go back and fish. He didn’t tell them, “Hey, I didn’t teach you all those things in the last three years so you can get back into a boat and fish for stinky fish. Now get out of that boat and get back to the work I taught you!” In fact, he told them how to catch fish so they would experience success again.

“Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, ‘It is the Lord!’ As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, ‘It is the Lord,’ he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water. The other disciples followed in the boat, towing the net full of fish, for they were not far from the shore, about a hundred yards. When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread. Jesus said to them, ‘Bring some of the fish you have just caught.’ Simon Peter climbed aboard and dragged the net ashore. It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many the net was not torn. Jesus said to them, ‘come and have breakfast.’ John 21:7-12

Peter jumped out of the boat and waded to shore – the others finished the task of landing the boat. Typical Peter – can’t wait for the boat to land. But when Jesus asks for some of the fish they caught, he is the first back into the boat to get the fish. I wonder if Peter is thinking about how he let Jesus down and denied knowing him those three times. I wonder if he wants badly to please Jesus and if he is thinking about how he wants Jesus to know that he loves him and would do anything for him. He won’t ever betray his friend again! He just can’t do enough fast enough to try to please Jesus.

Jesus made breakfast for them. “Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish. This was now the third time Jesus appeared to his disciples after he was raised from the dead.” John 21:13-14 Jesus once again served his disciples. I wonder what was going through their minds as they sat there eating with Jesus. Jesus seems to be coming and going with them – totally unpredictable. He doesn’t seem to be saying to them, “Come on guys, get it together. You have work to do.” But rather, he seems to be giving them space to figure out what the new normal is going to be. He is breaking it to them gradually – giving them time to absorb that he is indeed risen from the dead – before getting them back into their leadership positions he has groomed them for. He seems to understand that they need time to assimilate all the new and different information they have been subjected to over the last couple of weeks.

Gone fishing! Yes, they turned to something familiar while they were processing everything. Fishing has lots of opportunity for the mind to wander, dream, think, and process information. When life gets tough, I’m going fishing! I think Jesus will meet me there, give me a good breakfast and help stabilize my world again.