When a Brother Hates a Brother

We live in a time and place where we learn to stay out of each other’s business. We turn a blind eye when we see hurtful things happening around us. We quickly learn that to get involved means we become a lightning rod for the anger or hateful behavior. Meanwhile, people suffer. Children are neglected or abused, women are used and abused, and young boys are sold for a can of beer.

In II Samuel 13, we are told the story of King David’s sons Amnon and Absalom and his daughter Tamar who was the sister of Absalom. Amnon thought he was in love with Tamar and, with a cousin, devised a plan to get her into his room where he raped her. His “love” (which was apparently only lust) turned to hate and he despised her and threw her out and locked the door. When her brother Absalom heard about it, his hate for his brother simmered under the surface. He took his sister in because she was now no longer a virgin and would not be desirable for marriage. King David was angry, but did nothing – maybe because this follows after his adulterous encounter with Bathsheba. What can a father say to a son after he has just committed the horrible sins of rape and murder himself? Judgment had been pronounced on David. “This is what the Lord says: Because of what you have done, I will cause your own household to rebel against you.” II Samuel 13:11a  

This is one place where David failed as a role model for his sons. Now Absalom had killed Amnon and the king mourned for Amnon (even though he was angry with him for raping Tamar) and Absalom fled. The family is very broken and still there is no accountability, no conversations, no seeking forgiveness or granting forgiveness.

When a brother hates a brother, the hate turns to murder. Bitterness grows and people are hurt on every side.

Jesus taught another way. First he taught that even if we think murderous thoughts, we are a murderer. “Anyone who hates another brother or sister is really a murderer at heart. And you know that murderers don’t have eternal life within them.” I John 3:15

Second, he taught that love overcomes evil. “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!” Matthew 5:43-44

I wonder if we are willing to get involved in the lives of others and get to know both the people who are being hurt and the people who are doing the hurting, if we began to speak God’s truth and love into their lives, could this bring people to repentance and bring forgiveness and healing rather than bitterness and hate. Would we be able to bring about positive change to the lives of both those being abused and those doing the abusing?

Lord, in a hard and abusive world around me, please keep my heart soft and full of your love that I can be a beacon of light to those in distress and allow your light in me to shine in the dark places where bitterness, hate and anger dwell. Teach me to love others more, to pray for them and open myself to be a friend to them. In the precious name of Jesus, Amen.