The Unusual Pairing of Ecclesiastes and Christmas!

What do Ecclesiastes and Christmas have to do with each other? I recently read a statistic that over 70% of all people approach the Christmas holidays saying they are depressed – some from grief of losing loved ones, some because they are more keenly aware of all they are lacking, and some for reasons only they know.

Ecclesiastes seems to be a dark book. Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless… But Solomon is onto something. He has explored all of life, the pleasures of this world, the wealth of this world, hard work and foolishness. He is one of the few people in the world that could say that he had it all! Yet, he realized that we all die – whether we are rich, have done it all, and own property and have power over other human beings, or whether we are poor and have nothing. We die and we can’t take anything we have possessed here on earth with us. In fact, we have to leave it here for others who didn’t earn it. This leads him to wonder, why are we here? What is the meaning in this life?

I think his question goes all the way back to Genesis – the beginning of time and the first humans in the Garden of Eden. Satan convinced Eve to take the forbidden fruit because he told her that her eyes would be opened. But the deceiver was lying. Her eyes were clouded and now though she could see more clearly the things of this world, she lost the ability to dwell in God’s presence and see the things of the spirit.

Solomon is actually getting a glimpse of what he is missing because of our human focus now on pleasure through things rather than pleasure through relationship with our Maker, the Maker of the universe! Without that eternal focus, our life here is meaningless. Jesus came to restore our ability to see and hear – to see God at work and to hear His voice instructing us which way to go, our purpose and destiny in this world. Without God, there is no meaning – only the seeking of comfort and pleasure.

This Christmas, as we celebrate with lights and gifts, let’s take time to adore and worship the King who came as a baby to open our eyes and give us true pleasure and meaning in life. It doesn’t matter if we are rich or poor, if we work with our hands or work with our minds, if we are grieving or feel on top of the world. He came to give us back our true sight – knowing and walking with our Savior, our God and Maker of the universe and all that is in it! Let’s focus and worship Him!

 

COVID-19 and Genesis 19

Usually, I blog based on my morning reading in the Bible. But this morning, I did not even get to the reading of the Bible and the Lord began speaking into me. You see, like many around me, in this day of COVID-19 terrorizing us, I find myself grieving. We are used to a few people here and there grieving loss, but this is different. Nearly every person on the planet is grieving – even if they don’t recognize it. How in the world do we deal with all the unwelcome changes, the isolation, the fear of the unknown, the fear of the virus itself, the fear for the economy, the fear for the safety of our families?

And of all things, the Lord brought Lot and his family to mind. In Genesis 19, we are told that Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed. Lot and his family had been walked out by the angels and sent away from the destruction. They were living life as usual and were seemingly not bothered by the sin all around them. When they were told to leave, they resisted. The angels had to literally grasp their hands and lead them out of the city.

At that point, I am certain they were experiencing shock and instant grief. Everything they had worked for was left behind. They only had their lives. They were to not look back, but Lot’s wife did and became a pillar of salt. Lot begged to go to a nearby town rather than flee to the mountains as he had been instructed. But after he saw the total destruction of everything he loved, he and his daughters did flee to the mountains and lived in a cave.

Now why did this come to mind in light of COVID-19? As we are experiencing the grief of losing “life as normal” and having to adapt in our families and communities, some people are living in a state of panic, some are depressed, some are hoping to return to normal in a few weeks and disappointed every time the time for social isolation is extended. Some are working but fearing for their health and the health of their families. Some are out of work and income. If we keep looking back on what we have lost and are losing, we will be paralyzed like Lot’s wife. If we refuse to look ahead, we will “live in a cave” of fear and depression and go nowhere.

Times are changing. The Lord is rescuing us from the pace of life that is winding up faster and faster and killing us little by little and He is giving us opportunity to re-evaluate what is important. He is pouring out “new wine” for us to experience. Will we bring out “new wine skins” or will we try to put it into the “old wine skins” of previous habits and schedules?

I really don’t want to go where Lot went. I desire to be open to where God is telling me to go – what He is telling me to do. First, I have to trust Him completely to be in control and to take care of me. Then I need to set aside my fear and desire to look back and look ahead to what He is giving me instead. I believe He is resetting my compass and making sure I am going the right direction. As long as He gives me breath, He has things for me to do and I need to be focused on Him so I receive that direction and can obey it.

Yes, it is hard. But it seems that “hard” is what it takes for God to get our full attention instead of a polite nod in His direction once or twice a week. Let’s move with confidence into the next phase of this journey. God loves us. He is in control. He has a purpose for us. He will lead us. We can trust Him. Take His hand and let Him lead you to safety.

When Lotion Feels Like Sandpaper

When I was 18, I got a blistering sunburn. The one thing that stands out to me about that experience is that cold creamy lotion gently applied to the burned skin felt like sandpaper being scraped across the skin. What normally would be a soothing process – gently rubbed in lotion – became a very irritating and painful process.

Trying to comfort someone who is grieving can be like that – especially in the early stages when the world has just turned upside down and nothing can make it right again. No matter what anyone says or does, it doesn’t make the grief stop or even subside. Nothing can fix it. And so we have person after person telling us what to say or not say, do or not do, when a friend is grieving. And much of it is coming from the experts – those who have grieved deeply.

On my journey through grief, the one thing that stands out to me is that everyone grieves differently and responds differently to attempts to comfort. What I find comforting to me may actually be irritating to someone else. Some of that stems from the relationship to the deceased. Some has to do with whether or not the grieving person has been through hard loss before. Some has to do with the depth of faith of the grieving person and in whom or what that faith is found. Some of it just has to do with personality. I don't think anyone can write the perfect textbook for dealing with grieving friends or come up with the perfect list of what to say/not say, do or not do for a grieving person.

Each person needs space and time to grieve in their own way. One loves to receive cards, another hates the constant reminder that the world has just been upset by significant loss. One needs to hear people say, "I'm sorry for your loss." And another wants to punch the next person that says that. One needs a friend to sit with them. Another wants to be alone for a while. And that can all occur in the same household and change with an individual from hour to hour and day to day. After I got over the shock and the earliest, hardest grief, I began to realize that people were not trying to annoy or hurt me. Their hearts intended to be loving and caring. And I began to receive whatever they offered as a gesture of their love (a healing lotion) rather than an affront (sandpaper) to me even if they didn't say what I wanted to hear or do what I wanted them to do. No one can read minds and when I was in the deepest part of my grieving, I was in no position to tell others what I needed. So it was a learning experience for me to try to be gracious with whatever people offered. Some obviously clicked better for me than others. But in the end, they all cared the best way they knew how. And I'm grateful.

In II Corinthians 1:3-4, Paul says, “Praise the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort. He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

We need not be afraid to reach out to those around us who are grieving. God through His Holy Spirit is able to instruct us if we are uncertain what we should say or do. And even if the grieving person responds a bit roughly, understand it is not because you failed but because their grief is so deep that even creamy lotion will feel like sandpaper for the moment. Pray for them and pray with them if they will allow it. Pray God’s peace and comfort over their troubled and weary souls. And if you are able, walk with them over the long haul – however long it is. I recently sat with someone whose spouse had died five years ago. As they spoke about the experience, tears streamed down their face as if it had just happened last week. When everyone else is done comforting (usually within a few months), the grieving person often takes the social cues and quits talking about it though they are far from done with their grieving. We have the opportunity to be a caring and listening friend and continue to bring comfort through the years when needed. We can pass on the comfort God has provided for us.

God, Your grace is sufficient to meet all of our needs – especially when we are overwhelmed by our circumstances and feelings. And as we experience that grace and heal from our afflictions, please give us the grace to reach out to others and offer them the hope that we ourselves have received from You. Thank You. In the precious name of Jesus, Amen.