Most often, the birth of a child is a joyful time. As we birth and raise our children, we begin to understand so much more about God the Father. We begin to learn trust in a new way as we see our child totally dependent upon us. And if we allow ourselves to see it, we see the confidence God had in Mary and Joseph when he chose them to be the place where his One and Only Son, Jesus, would be born, a helpless infant, nurtured and taught in their home, raised to be an adult who glorified God and let go to fulfill the purpose God had for him.
As I ponder this, I look back through Scripture and find Sarah and Abraham. Isaac was a child of promise, given to them in their old age. Prophecy was spoken and fulfilled through his birth. And I wonder if Sarah knew what Abraham was doing when he took Isaac up the mountain… Yet God was there every step of the way, building a nation that would bring him honor and glory.
Then there was Hannah who, tired of the ridicule she received for not having any children, prayed for a child. She was given Samuel . To fulfill the promise she had made to God, she took him to Eli as soon as he was weaned. How hard this must have been for her – yet she knew from the moment of conception, Samuel belonged to God and would be used for his purposes.
Samson’s mother is only known as the wife of Manoah. Again, they knew from conception that Sampson was set apart for God. It must have been hard to believe as Sampson was ‘carousing’ with women from other nations. Yet, God used Sampson for his purposes – even in his death. How the wife of Manoah must have suffered!
Elizabeth and Zechariah were filled with joy when they finally conceived and gave birth to a son. The angel Gabriel had made it clear that this baby was special – set apart to do God’s work. John the Baptist was a son to be proud of. Though he was ‘different’, people flocked to him to hear what he had to say and they heard him, repented and were baptized. But in his outspokenness, he confronted Herod with his sin of adultery. He was beheaded around the age of 30. We don’t know if Elizabeth was still living since she was already up in years when John was born. But if she was, what awful sorrow she would have experienced.
Mary was chosen. The angel Gabriel told her so. What an awesome joy and responsibility to be the mother of the Messiah. Prophecies from Simeon and Anna surely left her wondering what she was in for. At 12, Jesus was discussing Scripture with the teachers in the temple courts. They were amazed at his understanding. He was already letting Mary know that she needed to let go of him. The same Mary who was blessed to be the mother of Jesus stood and watched her son die a horrible death on the cross after being tortured to within an inch of his life. How her heart must have grieved and nearly stopped beating that awful day. I wonder if she looked to God and asked what happened to her blessing.
Salome is believed to be the mother of James and John. What a happy, noisy house they must have had as these ‘Sons of Thunder’ grew up. Salome was with Mary when Jesus was crucified. She knew her sons were disciples. I wonder what thoughts were going through her mind. And then it happened. James was the first of the disciples to be killed in the persecution that followed. I wonder how Salome dealt with her sorrow. I wonder if she lived in fear that John would be next and maybe hoped that she would be chosen to die as well.
I ponder these women in the Bible as I consider my own experience. Little is said about them other than that they were there, they wept and mourned. Simple sentences with years of pain and sorrow attached to them if we allow ourselves to think about it.
While our Andrew may not have books written about him and be looked upon as these special men who were set aside for God’s purposes, there are similarities that help me understand these women in the Bible more. Andrew was a ‘surprise’, our first clue that God had a special purpose for him. Andrew was a child that had a special relationship with God seen early in his life. He worshiped God, absorbed Scripture and read much to nurture his life with God. At the age of 12, he made a firm decision to follow Jesus. He never wavered on that decision. Prophecy was spoken over him that summer and it was another clue that we needed to be willing to let him go to be used for God’s purposes. Andrew walked with Jesus. He learned from him and applied daily what he learned. He took Matthew 25 seriously and served those who most people step over or avoid completely. He was quick to give a ride, encourage hope in the hopeless, and spent his life serving others. He brought people alongside him, mentoring and teaching by the way he lived his life. He died suddenly at the age of 28 leaving those who loved him, worked side-by-side with him and those mentored by him wondering why. While his life affected many, his death has affected even many more and only God knows how many people will join Andrew in heaven worshiping at the feet of Jesus because he was willing to be used according to God’s purposes.
I now join Elizabeth, Mary, and Salome saying good-bye to our young adult sons, pondering in our hearts all that God is doing and will continue to do because they were willing to be used by him for his purposes. We are all blessed to be the mothers of special young men. That blessing has not been removed. Yet, we have been asked to do a very hard thing. Somehow, knowing that God is using it to his honor and glory gives us the strength to go on. We are in ‘partnership’ with God who continues to bless us and meet all of our needs as we continue on this journey he has assigned to us.
Oswald Chambers says that it is in the fire of sorrow that we find ourselves. He says that success leads to pride, monotony leads to complaining, and only sorrow leads to finding ourselves. (My Utmost for His Highest, June 25, updated edition) When we find ourselves, we become compassionate and loving people because we allow God to express himself through us. I believe that it is in sorrow that we finally give up our last hold on selfish desires and present ourselves to God as a living sacrifice, ready to serve him wholeheartedly. Sorrow is a refining fire that purifies our motives and desires. We find ourselves as we discover the true purpose for which God has created us and called us to be.
Lord, help me to lean into the sorrow that you have given me to bear and not pull back. Help me to learn everything that you have for me to learn in this experience so that I will be the most useful to you in your purposes as I finish out my life on this earth. Thank you for your constant presence that comforts me and guides me. Thank you that you have not left me alone but have provided others to walk beside me on this journey. I worship you and praise you alone.
“You hem me in – behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. … How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! ... Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:5-10;17;23-24
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