I Wish I Could Take It Back

How many times have I said, “I shouldn’t have said that,” or “I wish I could take it back,” or “I don’t know where that came from. I didn’t mean it.” The words are often spoken in a moment of frustration or disappointment. And when I get past the situation and look back, I wish I had said things differently or not said anything at all.

Jesus gives us a good clue where those words come from and how to work at fixing it so it doesn’t happen again, or at least not so frequently. “No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thorn bushes, or grapes from briers. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” Luke 6:43-44

It seems I was just here – looking at the motives of the heart. And here I am again, looking at it from a little different angle. What motivates me to say the things I wish I could take back. If I don’t fix that motivation, I’ll keep doing it even if I don’t want to. I have been calling Jesus my Lord for many years. And yet, when under stress and duress, my weaknesses come through. I keep finding places I have not allowed Jesus to be Lord of and find myself going back and bowing before my Maker and asking forgiveness and giving up my ‘right’ to hold on to them. Sometimes it happens quickly and sometimes I try to hold on for a while.

It’s like a crack in the foundation. As long as nothing stresses it, it’s not a big deal. But when the flood or earthquake comes, the foundation cannot stand and gives way. But a good foundation can withstand the onslaught. So it is with the weaknesses in my heart. Stress is what shows me where they are.

“Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.” Luke 6:46-49

So basic! And yet how many times have I sat and read or heard his Word and my mind was other places. Or how many times have I read or heard his Word and all it was to my brain was another story or parable? Hearing his Word is not what fixes the problems. Doing what he says is what builds the foundation that will stand during the hard times. Putting his words into practice is what builds a foundation of good things in the heart so that good things will come out of the mouth.

I don’t need to wait until I’m in an argument with my spouse to work on ridding myself of my selfish thoughts and desires. I can stand before God and let him shine his light on my heart and begin cleaning that selfishness out. When that happens, there is often no need for an argument. God doesn’t just patch the cracks – he gives me a new heart! And that new heart pumps rich oxygen to the brain – otherwise known as wisdom. And sometimes it closes my mouth and sometimes it sweetens my words.

God, sometimes it is so hard to look at my flaws. Yet I know that if I won’t look at them, they cannot be fixed. And if they are not fixed, they will cause collapse and destruction in my life. So Lord, please show me where I am not practicing your words so that I can begin practicing them and fill my heart with your good things so that my mouth will speak your goodness to others. Thank you for Jesus, my teacher and my Lord – the only Foundation that can stand. Amen.