Called to Serve

We have stories of Moses’ beginning – hidden in a basket, Pharaoh’s daughter finding and adopting him, a glimpse of him killing an Egyptian who was hurting an Israelite and then fleeing when he knew he had been found out. Then there is a big blank spot in his life until the incident of the burning bush. I wonder what Moses’ relationship with God was during that time. Did he talk to God? Did he follow Jewish customs he had been taught while his mother was caring for him for Pharaoh’s daughter? How much would a young boy remember?

Yet, when God spoke to him from the burning bush, Moses answered, “Here I am.” Exodus 3:4 Obviously, there was some relationship there. God went on to introduce himself as the “God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.” Exodus 3:6 Moses had obviously been taught enough to know the stories of his ancestors, because he hid his face afraid to look at God.

God then told him that he was going to rescue the Israelites from Egypt and send them back to the land promised Abraham in the Covenant. And he said to Moses, “I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt.” Exodus 3:10 I would suppose that would be a pretty terrifying thought to Moses to have to go back to Pharaoh. He had killed an Egyptian, run for his life, and thought he was doing okay with Jethro, his father-in-law, and his wife Zipporah and their son. He also didn’t see himself as being so eloquent in speech – the leader type.

God didn’t except Moses’ excuses. He said, “I have come down to rescue them,” Exodus 3:8; “I will be with you,” Exodus 3:12; and “I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” Exodus 4:12

Though Moses went with a lot of apprehension, he went. God called and he went. When I think about what he accomplished in the years to follow, it is staggering. He became one of the greatest leaders of all time. He was one who appeared with Jesus in the transfiguration (Matthew 17:1-13).

I wonder how God could take a timid person who ran from trouble and make him into that kind of a leader. It seems it was a relationship built over time. It began with God calling and Moses saying, “Here I am.”

Since our son’s death, God has continued to fill me with his Spirit and words flow from my mouth as I interact with others, comforting, encouraging, teaching that we don’t need to ask why, but rather we need to ask God what he is doing here and how can I glorify him in this circumstance in my life. Yet, when a friend mentions I should be doing public speaking, I find myself recoiling and saying that is something I am not good at. I can’t do that. Then I hear the Lord’s answers to Moses… I am sending you, I will be with you, I will help you speak and will teach you what to say. And I wonder if I am called, will I say, “Here I am,” or will I run the other way and hide?

Peter was a little different than Moses in personality. Peter thought he could do anything and was quick to speak when he thought he had something to say. He appeared to have no fear when he was with his friends. He was impulsive and whole-hearted at whatever he did. Peter is the one who jumped out of the boat and walked on water to meet Jesus. Matthew 14:29-30 He did okay until he looked back at what he thought his reality was… the boat tossing in the wind. Then he began to sink and cried out, “Lord save me!” Matthew 14:30 “Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt?’” Matthew 14:31

And I wonder, what is my boat in the wind that I look back at? What do I tether myself to for safety? Am I willing to say, “Here I am,” and keep my eyes on Jesus and keep walking toward him no matter what is under my feet? No matter what he calls me to do or say? Can I trust him to give me the words if he calls me to speak? Can I trust him to hold me up when my knees are bending and my voice is shaking?

He has already showed himself faithful to me in many ways in this life journey I am on. I am confident that he does not take me where he has not prepared the way for me to go. Yes, even as I walk through this journey of losing my 28-year-old son, he has prepared the way. And he walks beside us and he goes before us, comforting, strengthening, encouraging and providing opportunities to witness to others of the goodness of God, his love and his mercy and his grace. To God be the Glory!

Lord make me your servant today, confident that I can follow you wherever you lead me and that your will can and will be done through me as I make myself available to you. Amen